If someone says that I'm the best at anything, I always just agree with them. I'm certainly not gonna argue.

You know what my theory is? Accept me or go to hell.

I personally think Miles Davis is a lot funnier than me. And he's working more.

I always feel that most political jokes, if you're going to do them, you have to do them within the next five minutes, or else they're outdated. By the time you've got it to the point that it's strong, it would be 12 years old.

I always wish the hotels were like they are in movies and TV shows, where if you're in Paris, right outside your window is the Eiffel Tower. In Egypt, the pyramids are right there. In the movies, every hotel has a monument right outside your window. My hotel rooms overlook the garbage dumpster in the back alley.

I've never been one of those who wanted to fill my calendar up 90 percent of the time.

There definitely is exposure in reality shows, but the exposure will basically get you more reality shows.