Well, I play Jews and parrots. Parrots are how I've branched out.

There are times when I've had ideas walking down the street that I thought were great, and the minute I got onstage, I would think of them and go, 'Wow, that would never work,' even before I did it in front of the audience.

What do Japanese Jews love to eat? Hebrew National Tsunami.

There are certain things I don't want to joke about. If it's about somebody else, it's fine. If it's about me, I think it's totally insensitive!

I'd make Jack Benny look like a philanthropist.

If the police ever try to pick me up, Michael Jackson told me I can hide out at his house.

I guess if they ever do a remake of 'Sophie's Choice,' I could play the Meryl Streep part. I've got to work on my Polish accent. Maybe I'll be the definitive King Lear one day. You know, if they ever feel that King Lear should be more Jewy.