If someone else is paying for it, food just tastes a lot better.

The pressure to being a comedian is being funny, but I've given that up, so there is no pressure whatsoever.

Off-camera, I sound like Perry Como.

I'd like to have a kid, but I'd probably get a Frank Sinatra Jr. instead of a Gilbert Gottfried Jr. I'd totally screw up like that.

Well, I play Jews and parrots. Parrots are how I've branched out.

With me, traveling for work is arriving at the airport, checking into the hotel, leaving the hotel the next morning at 4 or 5 to do something like 'The Jimmy and Jackie Captain Crazy Morning Zoo,' doing a bunch of those in a row, then going back to the hotel, and then finally going to the club.

I always try to avoid anything that has to do with my life.