Comedy historians take note: this Gottfried character doesn't have the best eye for detail - and, for a Jew, he doesn't have the best eye for retail, either.

Unfortunately, I've never been mistaken as Johnny Depp.

I don't know if I change my act from century to century. Sometimes I'm onstage doing imitations and references to people who have been dead for 50 years.

I wanted to be a brain surgeon, but I had a bad habit of dropping things.

If you have the Old Testament at home, if you flip the corner pages, you can see Jesus riding a horse.

I've never understood people who say they're not a practicing Jew. You never hear a black guy say he's not a practicing African-American. What does it even mean?

Well, I play Jews and parrots. Parrots are how I've branched out.