I found out about Jonathan Winters death a day after it happened. That seems wrong. A talent like his should be more revered. The world knew about Kim Kardashians divorce before she did.

The pressure to being a comedian is being funny, but I've given that up, so there is no pressure whatsoever.

A lot of people who claim they're political comedians are just comedians who have opinions. But they stop being funny the minute they give their opinions.

I always try to avoid anything that has to do with my life.

If they'd wanted a nice parrot, they wouldn't have asked for me.

I predict one of these two teams will win the Super Bowl.

I was Jewish, through and through, although in our house that didn't mean a whole lot. We never went to synagogue. I never had a Bar Mitzvah. We didn't keep kosher or observe the Sabbath. In fact, I'm not so sure I would have known what the Sabbath looked like if it passed me on the street, so how could I observe it?