I found out about Jonathan Winters death a day after it happened. That seems wrong. A talent like his should be more revered. The world knew about Kim Kardashians divorce before she did.

I predict one of these two teams will win the Super Bowl.

I can't even find someone for a platonic relationship, much less the kind where someone wants to see me naked.

I'm one of those people that picks up the remote control and just keep hitting constantly, even if I like the show I'm watching.

I would show up at a party for Al Qaeda if you said there's going to be a dinner.

One thing I can take credit for, along with the rest of show business, is when the red ribbons were out, we cured AIDS. Any advancements that came towards fighting AIDS were not done by scientists or doctors - it was people with little ribbons on their lapels.

Japan is really advanced. They don't go to the beach. The beach comes to them.