Japan is really advanced. They don't go to the beach. The beach comes to them.

A lot of people who claim they're political comedians are just comedians who have opinions. But they stop being funny the minute they give their opinions.

I remember being at the premiere of 'Beverly Hills Cop II' and the tremendous reaction from the crowd outside, then going to a party at a hotel afterwards where the speakers were blasting 'Shakedown,' a song from the movie. That felt like a show biz moment to me.

With Katrina, it's almost like the sequel that doesn't live up to the original. It's certainly a shocking event and a tragedy, but somehow as a big event it doesn't seem to carry as much weight with the public as 9/11 did.

I would show up at a party for Al Qaeda if you said there's going to be a dinner.

I just split up with my girlfriend, but like the Japanese say, “They’ll be another one floating by any minute now.”

I'd make Jack Benny look like a philanthropist.