Japan is really advanced. They don't go to the beach. The beach comes to them.

If someone says that I'm the best at anything, I always just agree with them. I'm certainly not gonna argue.

I just don't accept midgets as human beings. There's only so much political correctness I can accept.

You never know what people will choose to be offended by.

I guess if they ever do a remake of 'Sophie's Choice,' I could play the Meryl Streep part. I've got to work on my Polish accent. Maybe I'll be the definitive King Lear one day. You know, if they ever feel that King Lear should be more Jewy.

Unfortunately, I've never been mistaken as Johnny Depp.

What do Japanese Jews love to eat? Hebrew National Tsunami.