The X-Games - I watch that; I'm not impressed. That's white dudes' desperation. They're running out of sports. They gotta find something that black dudes won't touch.

I think that sometimes I've been a little too nice. I think you have to have a balance. When you're too nice people take you for granted, they take you for a fool I think.

That's what I take pride in in my stand-up, is changing things up. Being special.

I went to University of Illinois. Big school. 35,000 students. 800 black... I was the only black in every class. Hard to be absent.

I used to think it was corny to be in love but actually it's corny to lose an awesome woman! Real talk.

You know what the bodega is? It's the little Latin store, and they try to act like it's a grocery store. It has two aisles. And the guy, he always tries to help me, 'You looking for the bread?' I was like, 'Dude, I can see it right here, alright.' He's like, 'Hey, hey, it's in aisle two.' That's all you got, what are you talking about?

Be happy with your stereotype. Asians - that's the stereotype I want. Being the smartest person in the world? You're the smartest, what are you complaining about? You know what I get? 'Wassup?