Some people are amazed at my brain, but really it's nothing.

This used to be a government of checks and balances. Now it's all checks and no balances.

Gracie: "Don't give up, Blanche. Women don't do that. Look at Betsy Ross, Martha Washington-they didn't give up. Look at Nina Jones." Blanche Morton: "Nina Jones?" Gracie: "I've never heard of her either, because she gave up."

You've buttered your bread, now sleep in it.

Never place a period where God has placed a comma.

Classic Recipe for Roast Beef: 1 large Roast of beef 1 small Roast of beef Take the two roasts and put them in the oven. When the little one burns, the big one is done.

Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.