I often put boiling water in the freezer. Then whenever I need boiling water,I simply defrost it.

A friend asked her doctor if a woman should have children after thirty-five. I said, "Thirty-five children is enough for any woman.

When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.

A young boy shouldn't be given up for hopeless just because he's lazy, surly, and good for nothing. Don't be discouraged by those things - maybe he's just trying to be like his daddy.

You've buttered your bread, now sleep in it.

The President of today is just the postage stamp of tomorrow.

All the other candidates are making speeches about how much they have done for their country, which is ridiculous. I haven't done anything yet, and I think it's just common sense to send me to Washington and make me do my share.