I often put boiling water in the freezer. Then whenever I need boiling water,I simply defrost it.

All the other candidates are making speeches about how much they have done for their country, which is ridiculous. I haven't done anything yet, and I think it's just common sense to send me to Washington and make me do my share.

They laughed at Joan of Arc, but she went right ahead and built it.

When my mother had to get dinner for 8 she'd just make enough for 16 and only serve half.

It's foolish to bet on a horse without talking to him first. I know it seems silly to ask a horse who's going to win a race - but it's no sillier than asking anyone else.

I don't see what difference it makes what side it's [your bread] buttered on. I always eat both sides.

Never place a period where God has placed a comma.