It's foolish to bet on a horse without talking to him first. I know it seems silly to ask a horse who's going to win a race - but it's no sillier than asking anyone else.

This used to be a government of checks and balances. Now it's all checks and no balances.

When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.

This recipe is certainly silly. It says to separate two eggs, but it doesn't say how far to separate them.

Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.

A young boy shouldn't be given up for hopeless just because he's lazy, surly, and good for nothing. Don't be discouraged by those things - maybe he's just trying to be like his daddy.

Never place a period where God has placed a comma.