It's foolish to bet on a horse without talking to him first. I know it seems silly to ask a horse who's going to win a race - but it's no sillier than asking anyone else.

When my mother had to get dinner for 8 she'd just make enough for 16 and only serve half.

This used to be a government of checks and balances. Now it's all checks and no balances.

Never place a period where God has placed a comma.

I left my car parked at the top of Lombard Street Hill, and I forgot to put the breaks on. It's the funniest thing. The car is running down the hill.

This recipe is certainly silly. It says to separate two eggs, but it doesn't say how far to separate them.

I don't see what difference it makes what side it's [your bread] buttered on. I always eat both sides.