You've buttered your bread, now sleep in it.

A platform is something a candidate stands for and the voters fall for.

All the other candidates are making speeches about how much they have done for their country, which is ridiculous. I haven't done anything yet, and I think it's just common sense to send me to Washington and make me do my share.

Never place a period where God has placed a comma.

The Senate is the only show in the world where the cash customers have to sit in the balcony.

When my mother had to get dinner for 8 she'd just make enough for 16 and only serve half.

I read a book twice as fast as anybody else. First, I read the beginning, and then I read the ending, and then I start in the middle and read toward whatever end I like best.