You've buttered your bread, now sleep in it.

Gracie: "Don't give up, Blanche. Women don't do that. Look at Betsy Ross, Martha Washington-they didn't give up. Look at Nina Jones." Blanche Morton: "Nina Jones?" Gracie: "I've never heard of her either, because she gave up."

It's foolish to bet on a horse without talking to him first. I know it seems silly to ask a horse who's going to win a race - but it's no sillier than asking anyone else.

Never place a period where God has placed a comma.

This recipe is certainly silly. It says to separate two eggs, but it doesn't say how far to separate them.

I left my car parked at the top of Lombard Street Hill, and I forgot to put the breaks on. It's the funniest thing. The car is running down the hill.

It's a game everybody plays. If you see a man with a beard and holler "Beaver!" it's five points. And if you see a man with a moustache, it's onlI three points.