You've buttered your bread, now sleep in it.

My husband will never chase another woman. He's too fine, too decent, too old.

When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.

I don't see what difference it makes what side it's [your bread] buttered on. I always eat both sides.

We favor putting Congress on a commission basis. Pay them for results. If they do a good job and the country prospers, they get 10% of the extra take.

I left my car parked at the top of Lombard Street Hill, and I forgot to put the breaks on. It's the funniest thing. The car is running down the hill.

It's foolish to bet on a horse without talking to him first. I know it seems silly to ask a horse who's going to win a race - but it's no sillier than asking anyone else.