All the other candidates are making speeches about how much they have done for their country, which is ridiculous. I haven't done anything yet, and I think it's just common sense to send me to Washington and make me do my share.

We favor putting Congress on a commission basis. Pay them for results. If they do a good job and the country prospers, they get 10% of the extra take.

The President of today is just the postage stamp of tomorrow.

I often put boiling water in the freezer. Then whenever I need boiling water,I simply defrost it.

This recipe is certainly silly. It says to separate two eggs, but it doesn't say how far to separate them.

Classic Recipe for Roast Beef: 1 large Roast of beef 1 small Roast of beef Take the two roasts and put them in the oven. When the little one burns, the big one is done.

They laughed at Joan of Arc, but she went right ahead and built it.