All the other candidates are making speeches about how much they have done for their country, which is ridiculous. I haven't done anything yet, and I think it's just common sense to send me to Washington and make me do my share.

The Senate is the only show in the world where the cash customers have to sit in the balcony.

A platform is something a candidate stands for and the voters fall for.

Let's all pull together and make these United States the grandest place in this whole country. I see a vision. A glorious vision. A united people, marching forward shoulder to shoulder, giving their all for the common good, working while I whistle.

Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.

Never place a period where God has placed a comma.

It's foolish to bet on a horse without talking to him first. I know it seems silly to ask a horse who's going to win a race - but it's no sillier than asking anyone else.