All the other candidates are making speeches about how much they have done for their country, which is ridiculous. I haven't done anything yet, and I think it's just common sense to send me to Washington and make me do my share.

My husband will never chase another woman. He's too fine, too decent, too old.

Gracie: "Don't give up, Blanche. Women don't do that. Look at Betsy Ross, Martha Washington-they didn't give up. Look at Nina Jones." Blanche Morton: "Nina Jones?" Gracie: "I've never heard of her either, because she gave up."

I left my car parked at the top of Lombard Street Hill, and I forgot to put the breaks on. It's the funniest thing. The car is running down the hill.

I often put boiling water in the freezer. Then whenever I need boiling water,I simply defrost it.

I don't see what difference it makes what side it's [your bread] buttered on. I always eat both sides.

The President of today is just the postage stamp of tomorrow.