A platform is something a candidate stands for and the voters fall for.

I'm the candidate who forgot to take off her hat before she threw it in the ring.

This used to be a government of checks and balances. Now it's all checks and no balances.

They laughed at Joan of Arc, but she went right ahead and built it.

I often put boiling water in the freezer. Then whenever I need boiling water,I simply defrost it.

All the other candidates are making speeches about how much they have done for their country, which is ridiculous. I haven't done anything yet, and I think it's just common sense to send me to Washington and make me do my share.

A platform is something a candidate stands for and the voters fall for.