Britain's such a twisted, weird little place.

If it was possible for me to adopt, I probably would, but no one's going to let me adopt.

It sounds deeply shallow, but for brief spells every member of the public can be fascinating.

A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.

Those years between drama school and getting onto the stand-up circuit were pretty lean.

I don't think I've got bad taste. I've got no taste.

I'm actually quite self-sufficient, so it might look as if there isn't room for anyone in my life. That isn't entirely the case.