If it was possible for me to adopt, I probably would, but no one's going to let me adopt.

The only people who are desperate to go on the show are people we're desperate not to have on the show.

All my interesting stories are from before I was on television. Nothing interesting has happened to me since then. Maybe it's because the most interesting thing in my life is the show and that's on telly.

Occasionally the state of the planet can knock me off my perky perch.

My life could have been so grim really, really grim.

I am camp. Lots of gay men can't cope with their campness. They are in denial about it.

A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.