We (men) would rather lose an arm out a city bus window than tell you simply, “You’re not the one.” We are quite sure you will kill us or yourself or both—or even worse, cry and yell at us.

Let's call cheating what it is: a complete betrayal of trust.

The time it takes to feel better about a breakup is directly proportional to the time it takes to feel better about yourself.

It`s the prettiest place on the planet. My childhood was like a dream. It`s like the last Mayberry.

There are only so many ways to get people to go see stand-up, that it really is about the product; it's not so much about the theme of the show.

People don't admire you for what you hate, they admire you for what you do about it, and your slacks.

When we're picking someone who we want to spend a lot of time with, even perhaps for the rest of our lives, we generally try to pick someone who likes to do the things we like to do.