We (men) would rather lose an arm out a city bus window than tell you simply, “You’re not the one.” We are quite sure you will kill us or yourself or both—or even worse, cry and yell at us.

Don't waste the pretty

If he's not calling you, it's because you are not on his mind. If he creates expectations for you, and then doesn't follow through on little things, he will do same for big things. Be aware of this and realize that he's okay with disappointing you.

I have less friends, but I have more Cadbury Eggs.

Try not to be four years into a relationship when it suddenly dawns on you that the guy you're with is a big, selfish jerk.

It`s the prettiest place on the planet. My childhood was like a dream. It`s like the last Mayberry.

There are only so many ways to get people to go see stand-up, that it really is about the product; it's not so much about the theme of the show.