Before you look for validation in others, try and find it in yourself

If my father is walking around going, 'Mmm, pussy,' he's thinking about eating the cat.

The only reason he can miss you is because he’s choosing, every day, not to be with you.

Part of me also knows that this generation is the least racist and most pro-gay, so that's great. But they have a real lack of gravitas. And they have no taste in music. Vampire Weekend? Can we play some music, please? Can we rock out for a minute? Where's your Metallica?

Cheaters are people who have a lot of stuff to work out, and they're working it out on your time and with your heart.

Bored with the same type of misery over and over and over again.

She didn't love me that much, but she moved in with me. That's a plus. And then one night, I caught her making out with another dude on the driveway. That's a minus.