A man would rather be trampled by elephants on fire than tell you he's just not that into you.

I'm no longer a prisoner of my fears. Which really just means I'm using real butter.

I'm certain prison is pretty rough as it is but imagine if you were a murderer and a foodie!

We (men) would rather lose an arm out a city bus window than tell you simply, “You’re not the one.” We are quite sure you will kill us or yourself or both—or even worse, cry and yell at us.

People say get a job doing something you love. So far no one has offered to hire me to eat Whoppers with a switchblade.

For me, a breakup changed my entire life. I was a mess. I really got rocked, and I ended up turning it into a positive thing.

I will go anywhere if you say the phrase 'there might be cake.' I would go to the Department of Motor Vehicles, register somebody else's boat in Spanish, a language I do not speak, without ID - for cake.