I don't know" means "NO!" "I don't know" means "I'm too cowardly to tell you the truth because I can't deal with confrontation." "I don't know" means please do the dirty work for me because I don't want to hurt your feelings even more then I already have.

If you date, you will meet your share of weirdos and jerks. That is as sure as death and taxes.

A man who wants to make a relationship work will move mountains to keep the woman he loves

Always be classy. Never be crazy.

Don’t be flattered that he misses you. He should miss you. You are deeply missable. However, he’s still the same person who just broke up with you. Remember, the only reason he can miss you is because he’s choosing, every day, not to be with you.

Part of being a comedian is that it's your job to look at life and regurgitate it in a funny way, to point out its absurdities.

It's time to stop pretending I'm ok with things I'm not ok with like all insects and Foster the People.