Don't idolize anyone if you can. You know, be inspired by people, certainly, but don't idolize people... Because they'll let you down.

The only reason he can miss you is because he’s choosing, every day, not to be with you.

I have two rules when you come to my house on Halloween. Wear a costume - 'cause if you've manned your door at your own house, you know how many kids will roll up, 14 years old with no costume and an attitude. My other rule: don't grab. Let me assess you and then design a candy situation for you.

I believe in love the verb, not the noun.

There are only so many ways to get people to go see stand-up, that it really is about the product; it's not so much about the theme of the show.

My buddy Tom... he'd been chasing a girl for two years, and he got her the old-fashioned way - dates and listening.

Maybe this is just me, because my priorities have changed as I’ve gotten older. But now I don’t want to be ‘sort of dating’ someone. I don’t want to be ‘kinda hanging out’ with someone. I don’t want to spend a lot of energy suppressing all my feelings so I appear uninvolved. I want to be involved.