I love to eat. That's why I got so fat; I love to eat. If I don't walk away from a meal hurting, I didn't do it right. If I don't walk away from Thanksgiving dinner feeling like I've been turkey-f**ked in a gingerbread prison, I didn't do it right.

People say get a job doing something you love. So far no one has offered to hire me to eat Whoppers with a switchblade.

Men like to chase and you have to let us chase you. I know. It's insulting. It's frustrating. It's unfortunately the truth.

Always be classy. Never be crazy.

It is with great sadness and a heavy heart that have to announce that I ate kale and liked it.

Ive learned that anything in life worth having comes from patience and hard work.

If he's not calling you, it's because you are not on his mind. If he creates expectations for you, and then doesn't follow through on little things, he will do same for big things. Be aware of this and realize that he's okay with disappointing you.