Part of being a comedian is that it's your job to look at life and regurgitate it in a funny way, to point out its absurdities.

The quickest way to rectify that mistake (choosing the wrong person) is by learning from that, moving on, and choosing much more wisely in the future.

I mean, I feel like you can kill the same bird with both stones.

Men like to chase and you have to let us chase you. I know. It's insulting. It's frustrating. It's unfortunately the truth.

I always tell people it's funny that they think I'm a relationship expert because my two books are about getting out of relationships.

Life's biggest rewards come from the biggest challenges

Lying, cheating, hiding is the exact opposite of the behavior of a man who's really into you.