Part of being a comedian is that it's your job to look at life and regurgitate it in a funny way, to point out its absurdities.

The reason it's so painful when someone disappears is you have to face the fact that the person you loved had probably left you a long time before he grabbed his coat and scrammed.

Alone also means available for someone outstanding.

Most comics worship music on some level. It's more rock-n-roll to get up there for an hour and make people laugh.

Maybe this is just me, because my priorities have changed as I’ve gotten older. But now I don’t want to be ‘sort of dating’ someone. I don’t want to be ‘kinda hanging out’ with someone. I don’t want to spend a lot of energy suppressing all my feelings so I appear uninvolved. I want to be involved.

There's nothing wrong with sending a quick note if you're busy or just want to flirt, but it's hard to have any real interaction over text. In the buffet of communication, text messaging should be a side dish, not the entree.

Anyone who assesses you or your relationship as disposable is not worthy of your time or tears.