I always tell people it's funny that they think I'm a relationship expert because my two books are about getting out of relationships.

Cheaters never prosper. (Because they suck.)

If my father is walking around going, 'Mmm, pussy,' he's thinking about eating the cat.

It is with great sadness and a heavy heart that have to announce that I ate kale and liked it.

He's just not that into you if he only wants to see you when he's drunk. If he likes you, he'll want to see you when his judgment isn't impaired.

Cheating gets easier every time it's done. It's only hard the first time, when one feels the sting of morality and the guilt of betraying someone's trust.

We have become a sloppy bunch of people. We say things we don’t mean. We make promises we don’t keep.