I've never tried to pass myself off as anything more than a comedian who wrote a dating book.

There are three kinda men in the world. There's men that own rope, men that use eye creme, and that dude from Nickleback.

My buddy Tom... he'd been chasing a girl for two years, and he got her the old-fashioned way - dates and listening.

Personally, when I'm picking friends, I like the ones who don't make me cry myself to sleep.

Life is hard enough as it is without choosing someone difficult to share it with.

Try not to be four years into a relationship when it suddenly dawns on you that the guy you're with is a big, selfish jerk.

Don’t be flattered that he misses you. He should miss you. You are deeply missable. However, he’s still the same person who just broke up with you. Remember, the only reason he can miss you is because he’s choosing, every day, not to be with you.