Ive learned that anything in life worth having comes from patience and hard work.

I've never tried to pass myself off as anything more than a comedian who wrote a dating book.

It is in that moment, when you really lay down your cards and see the relationship for what it was, that you'll find the freedom to kick it in the ass and let it go.

The time it takes to feel better about a breakup is directly proportional to the time it takes to feel better about yourself.

There are only so many ways to get people to go see stand-up, that it really is about the product; it's not so much about the theme of the show.

My buddy Tom... he'd been chasing a girl for two years, and he got her the old-fashioned way - dates and listening.

Good enough to tweet, not to say.