There's a guy out there who will want to tell everyone that he is your boyfriend. Quit goofing around and go find him.

Uncool is a cool resting place. The pressure's off me.

A man would rather be trampled by elephants on fire than tell you he's just not that into you.

Don’t be flattered that he misses you. He should miss you. You are deeply missable. However, he’s still the same person who just broke up with you. Remember, the only reason he can miss you is because he’s choosing, every day, not to be with you.

If a man is really into you, nothing will stop him from being with you - including a fear of intimacy.

I'm no longer a prisoner of my fears. Which really just means I'm using real butter.

So, I'm 34. I'm kind of becoming an adult - kind of, I guess. But I know that I am because, the other day, I said to somebody, 'Dude, dude, don't - those are the good plates.