There's a guy out there who will want to tell everyone that he is your boyfriend. Quit goofing around and go find him.

It is in that moment, when you really lay down your cards and see the relationship for what it was, that you'll find the freedom to kick it in the ass and let it go.

Breakups hurt like a motherf*#ker, but they are not the end of the world. The pain is temporary, and if handled properly, they can even be life-changing.

The best thing that can happen in a relationship is when you are the same person you were before the relationship started. You are not hiding anything, and you still have a life of your own. The other best thing is sex - that is a super positive.

Most people don't want to leave their wife and children behind but many people seem to want to take leave of themselves.

Be yourself. If something you do doesn't work, don't do it the next time. Listen to yourself - you know what appropriate behavior is.

There are only so many ways to get people to go see stand-up, that it really is about the product; it's not so much about the theme of the show.