Most comics worship music on some level. It's more rock-n-roll to get up there for an hour and make people laugh.

Ive learned that anything in life worth having comes from patience and hard work.

We're taught that in life, we should try to look on the bright side. Not in this case. In this case, assume rejection first. Assume you're the rule, not the exception. It's liberating. But we also know it's not an easy concept. -He's not just into you

The only reason he can miss you is because he’s choosing, every day, not to be with you.

Most comics worship music on some level. It's more rock-n-roll to get up there for an hour and make people laugh.

I'm just not interested in daytime television, which is something you should remember the next time somebody offers you a daytime talk show.

The day you realize you don't have to make sense to anyone is the day you start to make sense to you.