I love astute observations and really great wordplay. I love the way that Louis C.K. observes life, and I love the way Patton Oswalt talks about it.

The quickest way to rectify that mistake (choosing the wrong person) is by learning from that, moving on, and choosing much more wisely in the future.

I'm just not interested in daytime television, which is something you should remember the next time somebody offers you a daytime talk show.

Part of being a comedian is that it's your job to look at life and regurgitate it in a funny way, to point out its absurdities.

I don't have to edit myself. I get to be me, warts and all, and that's ultimately what people want, and to trust each other implicitly.

People are inspired to do remarkable things to find and be with the one they love.

He's just not that into you if he only wants to see you when he's drunk. If he likes you, he'll want to see you when his judgment isn't impaired.