It`s the prettiest place on the planet. My childhood was like a dream. It`s like the last Mayberry.

Send her a quick note while you`re stuck in a long meeting. A lighthearted chat definitely makes the time go faster.

There are three kinda men in the world. There's men that own rope, men that use eye creme, and that dude from Nickleback.

Life is hard enough as it is without choosing someone difficult to share it with.

Don't waste the pretty

I mean, I feel like you can kill the same bird with both stones.

Part of being a comedian is that it's your job to look at life and regurgitate it in a funny way, to point out its absurdities.