There are only so many ways to get people to go see stand-up, that it really is about the product; it's not so much about the theme of the show.

I believe in love the verb, not the noun.

If he's choosing not to make a simple effort that would put you at ease and bring harmony to a recurring fight, then he doesn't respect your feelings and needs.

The one cool thing with getting older is that you can actively choose to just be an eccentric.

Don't idolize anyone if you can. You know, be inspired by people, certainly, but don't idolize people... Because they'll let you down.

Drinking, eating, shopping, revenge, rebound sex, drugs or whatever your poison may be will number the pain - but that's all.

How many presidents, do you think, ever said to another guy: 'I can't believe we're doing this in the White House'?