We don't know anything about Scottish history. All we know is that an American guy painted his face blue and somehow they won.

My feeling is, we ran from animals for three million years. It's our time now. If a cow could eat you, it would. And it wouldn't care how comfortable your truck ride over was, either.

I thought the Egyptians had cured baldness.

Talking to the British about sex is like talking to Americans about reading. Nobody does it so why talk about it?

I see guys dressing like they're in college - and they're not. I don't want to be that guy.

President Clinton celebrates the first casual Friday at the white house by wearing leather chaps.

I'm old and my knowledge is strictly horizontal.