We don't know anything about Scottish history. All we know is that an American guy painted his face blue and somehow they won.

I love the nightlife. I like to boogie.

I would like to thank ABC for giving me the Drew Carey award. It only goes to one lucky guy with glasses a year, and gosh darn it, tonight I'm the king of the... general area.

If you want to live in 'white world,' if you want to experience the stultifying boredom and penetrating ennui that homogeneity can bring, you can go to Canada any day of the year. It's an entire country named Doug.

Don't say 'No,' say 'Gilbert,' ladies and gentlemen.

Yo. I'm from Beverly Hills, and I be pimpin'.

People will really believe anything. You may have noticed this. It’s not just me. Look around.