I just feel like history is very much alive and important and I don't, you know, I can't worry about whether people get it or not, per se.

If you have a funny costume, you can't really wear it when you get older.

No one is a natural - you have to work at being a natural.

I thought the Egyptians had cured baldness.

Contact lenses are for vain, weak-willed piglets who swan around showing off: 'Look everybody, I can see without spectacles. No one at first glance will ever assume I know how to surf the net.'

I see guys dressing like they're in college - and they're not. I don't want to be that guy.

I don't want comedy to be Bridesmaids 2. I'm not denigrating Bridesmaids but, enough already, let's stop pretending women are incalculably different to us. Seeking out podcasts, listening on headphones, it's like an intimate, specific conversation. People respond if it feels from the heart. I'm as neurotic a human being as lives, and I have my faults. I'm a drunk. But people really like that.