I just feel like history is very much alive and important and I don't, you know, I can't worry about whether people get it or not, per se.

I thought the Egyptians had cured baldness.

I like the night life, I like to boogy.

I think comedy should be left up to the professionals, that way everyone's safety is protected.

How would you like to make money in real estate?

Now, we're Americans. Technically, who is from this country? Only the Indians, who we graciously let dwell on their native casinos.

Contact lenses are for vain, weak-willed piglets who swan around showing off: 'Look everybody, I can see without spectacles. No one at first glance will ever assume I know how to surf the net.'