White pants should be worn on two occasions: One, never. And two, if you're selling ice cream.

I'm old and my knowledge is strictly horizontal.

You can't smoke in a restaurant in Los Angeles, which is mildly ironic, when you consider the fact that you can't breathe outside a restaurant in Los Angeles.

If you have a funny costume, you can't really wear it when you get older.

Oh, I don't wear a bathing suit. I wear a tent when I go out.

I love the nightlife. I like to boogie.

I love animals. I couldn't eat a whole one but I'll split one with you if you want.