Now, we're Americans. Technically, who is from this country? Only the Indians, who we graciously let dwell on their native casinos.

I like the night life, I like to boogy.

And eat lots of mints, it fools the cops.

Arizona changes its state motto to Damn, it's hot.

If Iraq's weapons are weapons of mass destruction, surely ours are weapons of growth and nurturing.

I'm always looking for that place, you know, where there's no rednecks, that place where people get along, and I never find it. I went to Australia, right, and I thought Australia was gonna be a groovy, surfnoid, smoke-a-joint wombat, you know? 'G'day mate!' 'No worries!' And it's like Arkansas with a beach. It's a whole country with a 'No Fat Chicks' sticker on it.

I don't come on to seduce the audience. I don't care if everyone laughs. I can't think about that anymore. If there's anything that a lot of experience on stage and a lot of stage time gives you is the confidence to know that it's ok if they're not laughing every second you're up there. Although that's what drives me and I still go too fast a lot of the time.