Now, we're Americans. Technically, who is from this country? Only the Indians, who we graciously let dwell on their native casinos.

I think if you steal well, you're a genius. If you copy badly, you're a hack.

It doesn't matter how much of an asshole you are, there was always someone who thought you were cool.

Now, we're Americans. Technically, who is from this country? Only the Indians, who we graciously let dwell on their native casinos.

Contact lenses are for vain, weak-willed piglets who swan around showing off: 'Look everybody, I can see without spectacles. No one at first glance will ever assume I know how to surf the net.'

How would you like to make money in real estate?

I would never advocate the use of dope because, you know, I'm not a professional athlete and I don't have access to the good stuff.