I think if you steal well, you're a genius. If you copy badly, you're a hack.

In our world, all puns are beautiful and they are the highest form of comedy.

We don't know anything about Scottish history. All we know is that an American guy painted his face blue and somehow they won.

I love animals. I couldn't eat a whole one but I'll split one with you if you want.

If you do not find me funny, that is your problem and I am not going away.

I work for a few at home who are devoted. People who are up now. Either they have some sort of bladder problem or they're extremely drunk. This is my crowd, these are the people I hope to get.

Tequila is like acid in a glass.