I thought the Egyptians had cured baldness.

I love animals. I couldn't eat a whole one but I'll split one with you if you want.

You leave white people alone in constant isolation for 2,000 years, and you know what their musical contribution will be? Riverdance!

People will really believe anything. You may have noticed this. It’s not just me. Look around.

I like the night life, I like to boogy.

White pants should be worn on two occasions: One, never. And two, if you're selling ice cream.

You can't smoke in a restaurant in Los Angeles, which is mildly ironic, when you consider the fact that you can't breathe outside a restaurant in Los Angeles.