Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I can't make head nor tail out of it.

There's one thing I always wanted to do before I quit... Retire!

Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?

Wages? You want to be wage slaves? Answer me that! Of course not. What is it that makes wage slaves? Wages! I want you to be free. Strike off your chains! Strike up the band! Strike three you're out! Remember, there's nothing like Liberty, except Colliers and The Saturday Evening Post. Be free, now and forever. One and individual. One for all and all for me, and tea for two and six for a quarter.

This book was written in those long hours I spent waiting for my wife to get dressed to go out. And if she had never gotten dressed at all this book would never have been written.

Since my daughter is only half-Jewish, could she go in the water up to her knees?

I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn't educate America if they started at 6:30.