Many years ago I chased a woman for almost two years, only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: we both were crazy about girls.

Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you're probably watching the wrong channel.

In any relationship, the woman has control, the clever ones don't let the men know.

Remember men, you are fighting for the ladies honor, which is probably more than she ever did.

I made a killing on Wall Street a few years ago...I shot my broker.

In France, for example, it is not unusual for a husband to have a wife and a mistress. However, if in addition to these two he's also having a fling with a fringe tootsie, both the wife and the mistress are outraged and the combination lover, husband, and cheat may well wind up with a large French bread knife between his ribs.

Send two dozen roses to Room 424 and put "Emily, I love you" on the back of the bill.