My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you something.

I hate London when it's not raining.

It's hard to get ivory in Africa, but in Alabama the Tuscaloosa

Ever since they found out that Lassie was a boy, the public has believed the worst about Hollywood

Gerald Ford was unknown throughout America. Now he's unknown throughout the world.

There's only two things you can start without a plan: a riot and a family, for everything else you need a plan.

Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.