Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.

Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go somewhere and read the book, I might have a little fun.

The first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract-- Look, why should we quarrel about a thing like this? We'll take it right out, eh?

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

I'd like to meet the person who invented sex and see what they're working on now.

Do you suppose I could buy back my introduction to you?

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.