Hey, when I said work fast, I didn't mean your friend, I meant the maid.

I'm not a vegetarian, but I eat animals who are.

I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar.

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.

Chico: "Here's the book, it's a dollar" Groucho: "Here's a ten, and shoot the change." Chico: "I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books.

I'm not going to pay good money to join a club that lets in people like me.