Hey, when I said work fast, I didn't mean your friend, I meant the maid.

I can't understand why you don't get any mail from me. Perhaps it's because I haven't been writing

Would you mind getting off that fly paper and giving the flies a chance?" "Ahhh, you can't trick me! Flies don't read papers!

Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.

Given the choice between a woman and a cigar, I will always choose the cigar.

Wages? You want to be wage slaves? Answer me that! Of course not. What is it that makes wage slaves? Wages! I want you to be free. Strike off your chains! Strike up the band! Strike three you're out! Remember, there's nothing like Liberty, except Colliers and The Saturday Evening Post. Be free, now and forever. One and individual. One for all and all for me, and tea for two and six for a quarter.