You've got a goal in life. I've got a goal. Now all we need is a football team.

Oh, are you from Wales? Do you know a fella named Jonah-He used to live in whales for a while

I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a good book. ANOTHER VERSION I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. ANOTHER VERSION I find television very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go in the other room and read a book.

Anyone buying this book is going to be out a tidy sum if he is sucked in by the title. I wish I could write a real sexy book that would be barred from the mails. Apparently nothing whets a reader's appetite for literature more than the news that the author has been thrown into a federal pokey for disturbing the libido of millions of Americans.

This isn't a particularly novel observation, but the world is full of people who think they can manipulate the lives of others merely by getting a law passed.

Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you're probably watching the wrong channel.

I never go to movies where the hero's tits are bigger than the heroine's.