Comedians are a much rarer and far more valuable commodity than all the gold and precious stones in the world.

Whatever it is, I'm against it.

Afraid? Me? A man who's licked his weight in wild caterpillars?

Any place I hang my head is home.

And stop pointing that beard at me, it might go off!

If it gets any hotter in here I could use a big fan.

When discovered by his wife, kissing the maid, Groucho said, "I was just whispering in her mouth"