One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife.
If the garbage man calls, tell him we don't want any.
In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.
Some day there will have to be some new rules established about name-calling. I don't mean the routine cursing that goes on between husband and wife, but the naming of defenseless, unsuspecting babies.
I've met a lot of pin-up girls, but I've never been able to pin one down
Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water!