Don't let the fear of the thorn keep you from the rose.

A woman can smell mink through six inches of lead.

Oh, are you from Wales? Do you know a fella named Jonah-He used to live in whales for a while

Growing old is something you do if you're lucky.

Ever since they found out that Lassie was a boy, the public has believed the worst about Hollywood

A thing that has always baffled me about women is that they will saturate themselves with a pint of perfume, a pound of sachet powder, an evil-smelling lip rouge, a peculiar-smelling hair ointment and a half-dozen varieties of body oils, and then have the effrontery to complain of the aroma of a fine dollar cigar.

No, Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend. I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception. I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it. I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.