No, Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend. I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception. I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it. I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.

I eat like a vulture. Unfortunately the resemblance doesn't end there.

I intend to live forever, or die trying.

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

Well, art is art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water.

In France, for example, it is not unusual for a husband to have a wife and a mistress. However, if in addition to these two he's also having a fling with a fringe tootsie, both the wife and the mistress are outraged and the combination lover, husband, and cheat may well wind up with a large French bread knife between his ribs.

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.