What have future generations ever done for us?

Chico: "Here's the book, it's a dollar" Groucho: "Here's a ten, and shoot the change." Chico: "I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books.

With a little study you'll go a long ways, and I wish you'd start now

I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife.

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

If income tax is the price you have to pay to keep the government on its feet, alimony is the price we have to pay for sweeping a woman off hers.