A thing that has always baffled me about women is that they will saturate themselves with a pint of perfume, a pound of sachet powder, an evil-smelling lip rouge, a peculiar-smelling hair ointment and a half-dozen varieties of body oils, and then have the effrontery to complain of the aroma of a fine dollar cigar.

Mrs. Teasdale congratulates him on his coronation and sovereignty: "The eyes of the world are upon you. Notables from every country are gathered here in your honor. This is a gala day for you." Firefly replies: "Well, a gal a day is enough for me. I don't think I could handle any more."

You get a canoe later and I'll paddle you.

Africa is God's country, and He can have it.

I write by ear. I tried writing with the typewriter, but I found it too unwieldy

I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.

TV is the rat race of the century.