Every time someone turns on a TV, I go in the other room and read.

I made a killing on Wall Street a few years ago...I shot my broker.

Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.

This would be a better place for children if parents had to eat spinach.

I married your mother because I wanted children, imagine my disappointment when you came along.

I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.

Well, that covers a lot of ground. Say, you cover a lot of ground yourself. You better beat it - I hear they're going to tear you down and put up an office building where you're standing. You can leave in a taxi. If you can't get a taxi, you can leave in a huff. If that's too soon, you can leave in a minute and a huff. You know, you haven't stopped talking since I came here? You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle.