If you take cranberries and stew them like apple sauce, it tastes much more like prunes than rhubarb does.
A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
Would you mind getting off that fly paper and giving the flies a chance?" "Ahhh, you can't trick me! Flies don't read papers!
I started smoking as soon as I went on the stage. I'd make cigars out of the Morning World when I was a kid.