You're only as young as the woman you feel.

Madam, you're making history, in fact, you're making me, and I wish you'd keep my hands to yourself

[Mrs. Teasdale]: He's had a change of heart. [Groucho]: A lot of good that'll do him. He's still got the same face.

I shall drink no #‎ wine before it's time! OK, it's time.

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.

Dig trenches? With our men being killed off like flies? There isn't time to dig trenches. We'll have to buy them ready made.

I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.