Harriet Lerner Quotes

Pretending can be a bold form of experimentation and inventiveness. In pretending joy or happiness, we may discover or enhance our capacity for it.

It's true that over-apologizing interrupts the flow of conversation and irritates the person who has to stop and offer reassurance, like, "No, it's fine, don't worry about it." But far greater than the challenge of toning down unnecessary "sorrys" is offering an apology when one is due.

Only through our connectedness to others can we really know and enhance the self. And only through working on the self can we begin to enhance our connectedness to others.

Intensity is not the same as intimacy, although we tend to confuse these two words.

Intimate relationships cannot substitute for a life plan. But to have any meaning or viability at all, a life plan must include intimate relationships.

If what we are doing with our anger is not achieving the desired result, it would seem logical to try something different.

Silence can pose a greater threat than the difficult truth.

Love alone is never a good enough reason to marry.